Change Your Mind, Change Your Attitude, Change Your Life

People have a tendency to dream big and set high goals for themselves. So many of us spend hours fantasizing what life would be like if we could get the big promotion, lose the weight, or learn a new skill, start a business, etc. But that's all you do, dream because fear and anxiety creep in and stops you dead in your tracks.

Unfortunately, people also tend to let negative thinking get in the way of working toward those big goals. Have you ever talked yourself out of making some major life changes or trying to meet a goal because you thought it would be “too hard” to achieve? If so, you’re allowing those negative thoughts to get in your way and hold you back from the greatness that you are capable of. You procrastinate and assume that you have all the time in the world to change, you don't none of us do. So, what are you going to do?

If your thoughts tend to be negative, and those thoughts are affecting your business and personal relationships, never fear–with some practice, you can work toward changing your thoughts to be more positive, supportive, and empowering.

1. Strive toward improvement–not perfection.

A common negative thought that gets in the way of making change and progress is the (quite untrue) belief that we must seek perfection if we’re going to chase after a goal. There is no such thing and chasing it will lead you to self-doubt and self-defeating thoughts and behaviors. Perfection is great, but it isn’t realistic! Striving toward absolute perfection isn’t needed to improve your life or work toward new skills or building new relationships.

What you can do is challenge yourself to work a little harder each day. Even giving an extra 10% of effort while working toward a goal will help you move closer to your desired results. Continually seeking perfection will lead to big disappointment, but working toward improvement will encourage you to continue, even when things get rough.

2. Look into cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) methods to restructure your negative thinking habits.

Yes, CBT sounds intimidating, but it simply refers to a toolkit of strategies you can use to replace bad or negative thoughts with better, more positive ones.

For example, one method of doing this is called cognitive restructuring. Again, this isn’t as complicated as it sounds. Cognitive restructuring takes some time, practice, and patience to master, but it will achieve what its name suggests–you will learn to restructure your thinking patterns to be more positive, motivational, and forward thinking.

To do this, you simply identify a negative thought, and then replace it with a less distorted version that gives you a clear mental picture of reality. Often, our bad or negative thoughts are fueled by fear or worry–this means those bad thoughts cloud our minds with “what ifs” that can stop us from taking a chance to make change or try something new. Learning to identify, acknowledge, and change thoughts takes quite a bit of practice. Check out what this might look like:

1. You have a negative thought: “I don’t know why I even bother trying to start a business, I know I’m not going to make any money because no one is going to take me seriously.

2. You identify the negative thought: “Talking to myself like this isn’t helping my situation. It makes me feel even more worried about trying to build my business.”

3. Now, replace the negative thought with a more truthful one: “I have the experience and the skills to get my business off the ground. Everything I need to be successful is already in me.”

3. Practice basic mindfulness.

Mindfulness is the practice of putting yourself “in the moment.” This means you take a moment to mentally assess your current situation, your feelings, and your environment. It can be used as a tool to quiet a busy mind and bring yourself back to reality, particularly if you struggle with stress management and anxious thinking.

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, take a moment to close your eyes, draw in deep breaths, and focus on the “here and now.” If you find yourself distracted by sounds or physical sensations, return your focus to your breathing. Take a few minutes to run through these questions to bring yourself back into the current moment:

1. What does the temperature of the room feel like?

2. What can I smell in the room right now?

3. What does the floor feel like under my feet (if standing) or bottom (if sitting)?

4. What sounds can I hear?

5. How do my clothes feel against my skin?

6. Is my breathing soft or heavy?

By focusing on these “right now” questions, you can bring your mind back to focus on the present.

Creating Positivity in Thought: Shifting Attention from Negative to Positive

Whether you realize it or not, your thoughts play a huge part in your everyday life. They can actually affect everything, from your emotions, your actions, and even your attitude, which of course will determine the quality of the life you are living. So, if you want to live a more positive life, it’s time you start shifting your thoughts from the negative to the positive.

Start Your Day with Positively

We’ve all known that an object in motion will stay in motion. In the same way, if you start the day with positive thoughts, the rest of the day is sure to follow, and you will be better equipped to deal with the negative things that life tends to throw at you.

This is why you should do everything possible to think positively when you first wake up in the morning, instead of dreading the day ahead. Greet the day with a positive thought about what will happen during the day or about yourself. Try meditating and/or prayer and connecting with your Creator first thing in the morning, or even by listening to some positive music that you love as you get ready for work. Positive affirmations can also help put you on the right track for the day.

Always Focus on The Good

Bad things are bound to come your way, that’s just the way life is. But whenever you find yourself facing something which is unwelcome, try your best to focus on only the good aspects of the challenge you are facing. Understand that there are blessings in every challenge you face, and once you get through it, you’ll be ready to receive that blessing. Yes, it is hard to find the light when you are in the darkness, but this will have a huge impact on helping keep your thoughts positive no matter what happens.

Leave The Past Behind

Letting go of the past is something that many of us struggle with. It can lead us right down the road to depression because we may be holding on to past hurts and using them to keep ourselves in a state of perpetual victim-hood. Instead of thinking of and embracing the good and more positive parts of your past, when you often think about it, you probably think about the negative parts. This is why it’s time to leave the past behind. Whatever stories you told yourself about who you were before, and what you did, that isn’t who you are now, so just let it be. This will help keep the past from draining your positive energy and thoughts.

Honor Yourself with Kind Words

All too often, people are harder on themselves than on anyone else in their life. How many times after you have made a mistake, have you told yourself that you were stupid? How many times have you looked at yourself and spoken badly about how you look? Exactly. It’s time to start treating yourself with the same respect and kindness as you treat everyone else in your life.

Even though these conversations only happen in your head, make them positive, and empower your self-talk. Sometimes it can help to write positive things about yourself on post-it notes and put them around the house for a quick pick-me-up later.

Learn To Laugh

They say laughter is the best medicine for what ails you. One of the best ways to keep your thoughts positive is by learning to laugh. When you make a mistake, instead of being hard on yourself, laugh about it.

You should have on hand, books, movies, and TV shows which can make you laugh when you need it. And if you find that you have friends in your life who you can never laugh with, then it’s probably time to let these friends go and find people who can share in your joy about life.

Shifting your thoughts from negative to positive is no easy task. But if you want to create positivity in your life, you will be able to accomplish it. Just remember to start your day positively, focus on the good, and leave the past behind you.

Always honor and treat yourself with kindness, and don’t forget to laugh, and soon you will be on your way to an all-new positive you!

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About Angela M Mitchell

Angela M Mitchell is an author, speaker, and the founder and CEO of Back to her. She is also a Certified Master Life & Personal Development Coach, a mental health advocate, and Co-Author in the international best-selling collaborative masterpiece, The Image in The Mirror. She received a degree in Healthcare Administration from Bryant and Stratton College and is dedicated to advocating for women who live with mental health disorders.

Angela also assists women entrepreneurs to acknowledge their struggles, change the narrative of the stories they tell, and rewriting them so that they can become deliberate, not desperate creators of their own life's story.

She guides them through a process of self-discovery as they incorporate ease, flow, and inner strength into their lives so that they can reignite their passions and rediscover their God-Given purpose and achieve the success they desire in their personal and professional life.